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This weekend is usually one of my favorite weekends on the beach: VOLLEYPALOOZA! Except… last year there was no Volleypalooza and this year it’s at some place called Shulaville. Where is Shulaville? I hope it’s just some made-up area of the beach. Because, Volleypalooza without South Beach is like… Ham without burger! It has to [...]

I am SO MOIST with anticipation to see if my poster makes it into the movie. Oh, also… PLZ add me as a friend on netflix. My email address is netflix dawt (except it’s the actual dot) com at fanlessdawtkawm.

Multimedia message, originally uploaded by FANLESS. New desks at work!

Multimedia message, originally uploaded by FANLESS. Work.

…so I’m working on this order with next to no instructions and after sending them 2 proofs they send me an email saying “The words thank you need to be larger to fill the blank space and on an angle. See attachment, it should be somewhat creative. Thanks”. Here’s the attachment. WOW! Talk about creative! [...]

I don’t think I’ve been this ripped since last yeqar qwhen I was in Seattle! Sp tonight was the office party at Macarena and I was the first person to show up. which is amazong considering the fact that I am ususally 2-6 minuteslate. I think every thing is every thing so now I will [...]

In the illustrious words of one Paul Harvey, “Oh, hey!” I just realized that I have been back at this place that I work at for 1 year now. That means that one year ago a lot of people in South Florida didn’t have any power. I can’t believe I haven’t seen anything on the [...]

Do you know what’s worse than having to listen to shitty music coming out of a PowerMac G5′s shitty little speaker? Listening to people sing shittily to shitty music coming out of a PowerMac G5′s shitty little speaker! Seriously, where is the reset button for life? Other things annoying me at the moment: People forwarding [...]

As of 10:30 AM this morning, I have 38 fresh emails in my inbox, and today I am going to attempt the impossible! I will try to address each of these emails by 6 PM! Each email usually equals one order I need to work on, and if that average holds true today, then at [...]

**ATTENTION!!** Andre just called me from backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel Live show, and he said Diora is going to be on the show tonight! WATCH IT!! And if you don’t know who Diora is… Well, maybe I’ll make a post about her tomorrow.

I am so over hearing crying kids!

I don’t really have any plans for this weekend, but I kind of hope to find a wife at the casting for Hottest Mom in America on Saturday. (Hey, I just thought of something! I wonder of the “TRUE MILF” is going to try out for this show? If so, will she demonstrate her special [...]

You can always tell it’s going to be an interesting day when you show up to work and your boss is wearing spandex!

This past weekend I earned enough money to buy a Volume Sledgehammer by retouching a ton of pics for an upcoming issue of a magazine that may or may not be referenced in this Miami New Times article I found via Critical Miami. In taking these screenshots I realized I could (should?) have done a [...]