The FANLESS Homepage!! » Work

Best present evar!

FANLESS — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 00:00:57 +0000

Best present evar!, originally uploaded by FANLESS.

Wow!

If you know me, then you know that I practically live off of energy drinks (and buffalo wings and ice cream)! Mike just gave me the best birthday present evAr! A case of Monster AND a case of Red Bull! AMAZING!
You should go to Mike and Kathy’s blog and tell them how much you wish you were tight with them, like I am!

So, if you’re like, “OH, SNAP! I forgot Christian’s turning OLD(er) this weekend!!”, I have a list of things that will give me wood, but you probably won’t be able to find them very easily.

Odyssey Electronical – Well, the trailer looks really good!
Stoked on being Pumped – C’mon! With a name like that, how bad can it be? Actually, the trailer made me want to go ride!
ThrillBillies – I imagine Brandon will be getting me this. It’s kind of a tradition that Brandon gets me the latest Nitro Circus DVD each year, but so far he hasn’t been able to get his hands on the goods. That means it’s fair game for you!
Dig BMX Magazine – This is one of my favorite magazines, but it’s a little on the pricey side. Except, it’s kind of not when you factor in the free t-shirt! I already have 2 of them, and am looking forward to a 3rd. Size XL, plz.
Widmer Hefeweizen – It’s been a few months since I’ve been able to drink one of these, and I really miss it! Supposedly, it’s sold in Florida, but I haven’t been able to find it on South Beach. Maybe your grocery store will be more fortunate.
Red Robin Seasoning- So, at Red Robin they have bottles of their special seasoning on the tables, and you can buy your own bottle to take home. I NEED SOME!! Unfortunately, the nearest Red Robin is in Georgia.

someone’s in your house

FANLESS — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 05:59:36 +0000

I thought I was going out again tonight, but I just looked at the clock, and my phone hasn’t rang, as far as I know, so I think it’s a safe bet to say that I’m staying in tonight. That’s probably a good thing because I think I have woken up hung over the past 7 mornings in a row! A break isn’t going to hurt.

So, I’ve been questioning Mac OS X.5 Leopard’s worth. Like, is it worth $130 or not? And it has been pretty hard for me to see that much value in it, but tonight something happened…

Uploaded with Skitch!

To be able to browse this folder (beware of goatse and tubgirl!) in coverflow mode really made it worth it for me. I was trying to find some old pics that I knew were in that directory, but I had no idea what the file names were. I had a local copy, so I just browsed it in my finder. I would find the images I was looking for, and drag them into another folder so I could note theri file names later on.

In this process, I realized that it’s been just over 2 years since I worked at District Lab. Here are a few pics from that era. (click on each pic for its original liveurinal post + more pics)

Sidekick falls asleep!

You know you have a pretty awesome job when you get to use a $600 chair as an ottoman!

We drank beer for Cinco de Mayo in 2004…

…and in 2005!

…and sometimes we would make Gustavo look gay!

…and we took a lot of pictures of eachother. That place was a lot of fun! I miss those guys.

fuct fonts

FANLESS — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:54:54 +0000

Today my fonts seem to be either drnk(.com!) or on vacation.

who says models are dum??

FANLESS — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 15:57:11 +0000

A client sends me a mock up along with the images to be used on their card. I start creating the card and realize that they didn’t send me one of the images that is in their mock up. I send them an email with an incomplete proof showing a blank space where the missing image should be, along with a note stating that I am missing one image.
They email me back with an image that they had already sent me, and is already on the proof. I email them back saying I already have that image and it is a different image I’m missing. Then they send me their mock up again! I email them again explaining once again that I already have the mock up… That’s how I made the proof. But I’m still missing one image.
Today they sent me another image saying “Is this the right image?”
Guess what…? IT’S NOT THE RIGHT IMAGE!!

hello, turn on brain, please! What the fuck is wrong with you? Look at your mock up, and compare it to the proof I sent you. Notice the difference? That one image missing? See that? That’s the image you need to send me, OK?

FFS, PEOPLE!

FANLESS — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 16:25:00 +0000

…so someone emails me 2 word documents that they want printed as posters, and I email them back saying we don’t print from Word and to please send a PDF or jpeg or whatever.
So then the brainiac calls me and the conversation went something like this…
Me: Well, we don’t print Word documents… I need a PDF or some sort of graphic file.
Them: Ok, if I bring you the file on a USB drive can you print it?
Me: Uh… Will it still be a Word document?
Them: Yes!
Me: No, we don’t print Word documents… I need a PDF or some sort of graphic file.
Them: Oh, you don’t print Word documents?
Me: …? No, we don’t.
Them: ok.
HELLO, TURN ON BRAIN PLZ!!

lulz of the day

FANLESS — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 16:44:44 +0000

Me: Jules (or Jewles, as I like to call him), did you know that Hitler started the Holocaust because a Jewish prostitute gave him syphilis?
Jules: I don’t think that’s true. Where did you hear that?
Me: Digg!
Jules: (eyeroll) That’s just a conspiracy theory.
Me: Yeah, right! You just have trouble believing it because you don’t want to believe that a jewish prostitute would give anyone syphilis.
…
Me: Everyone knows that a JEWISH prostitute would charge extra for that!

this made me lol

FANLESS — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:39:32 +0000

Best email of the day!
P.S.: Yes, I know I’m fat. No, I don’t plan on going on a diet! You’re right, trucker hats are SO 2002 zOMG!! And thank you for noticing that my sweet, sweet beard is totally going gray. What do you want from me? I’M (almost) OLD!

Vote for Liza

FANLESS — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 20:10:01 +0000

Here’s an email I just received from one of my clients. Vote for her to be Maxim’s next Hometown Hottie!

Hey everyone please show your support and vote for me!!! You can vote only once daily but for the next 30 days!!!!

thanks everyone and wish me luck!

http://www.maximonline.com/hotties/semi_profile_2007.aspx?id=19521

resend this email to all your friends…thanks

FFS people!!

FANLESS — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:20:30 +0000

Almost every job I do has a proof that needs to be approved of before it is printed. A while back I made a proof for someone, they approved it, and we printed their composites. A couple of weeks later they realized that the date of birth on the card was wrong (5-2-03) and they wanted it reprinted with the correct DOB of 5-1-01. This made some sense since their mistake made the kid 2 years younger than she actually was, which could sway a booking. We reprinted it at no charge. Well, today I got an email saying that they messed up the DOB again, only this time the DOB needed to be 5-02-01 instead of 5-01-01.
Um… OK? This needs to be printed for a 3rd time because the DOB is off by one day?? I DON’T THINK SO! If this were some important legal document or something it would make sense. But a comp card for a 6 year old? Give me a break!

Lrn 2 speel!

FANLESS — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 15:43:10 +0000

Lrn 2 speel!, originally uploaded by FANLESS.

Believe it or not, it’s kind of important to spell things correctly when giving instructions. I took “blaack paper” to mean I was supposed to print something on black paper, which we don’t have, so I was like WTF?? It turns out that “blaack paper” actually says “blanck paper”, AKA, “blank paper”. Someone just wanted 10 sheets of paper.