The FANLESS Homepage!!

…so there I am at work, and I look up and I see this guy making a fort out of truck doors and I knew exactly what was going to happen because I’ve done similar things a million times before. The main difference is that I was always in the middle of nowhere (or drnk!) [...]

I don’t really have any plans for this weekend, but I kind of hope to find a wife at the casting for Hottest Mom in America on Saturday. (Hey, I just thought of something! I wonder of the “TRUE MILF” is going to try out for this show? If so, will she demonstrate her special [...]

There are currently 7 people huddled around the television here at work, watching the World Cup game. Luis and I are the only ones working at the moment, and I’m not even working very hard because I have a GNARLY headache only on the left side of my head, kind of like brain freeze behind [...]

Three years ago today I woke up in St. Louis, Missouri! Our first stop of the day was Anheuser-Busch! (just fine, and yours?? – I pretty much said that every time someone said Anheuser-Busch. GET IT??) Photo Opportunity! (plz note Brandon’s Stoner Drug shirt!) Kim and Brandon. After our tour of the brewery, we went [...]

We woke up in Sioux City Iowa and someone from the hotel had slipped a piece of paper under the door. It was a printout of our bill for the room, and on the bill was a $40+ charge for a long distance phone call. Before I left Miami I had noted local numbers to [...]

So The Rock Crest Lodge is pretty much the gnarliest place I have ever stayed! We got there late and we were pretty beat. The place just had a creepy feeling to it. We got into our room, and I was like… “This isn’t the Rock Crest… This is the Bates Motel!!” Seriously, it was [...]

There’s no better way to start a day than with a can of Red Bull! Hey, there’s something you don’t see everyday in South Florida! This is Kim and Brandon at Spasm Geyser. I think Kim was trying to make out with me but I was like blegh! Me and Brandon at Old Faithful! We [...]

Three years ago today, we woke up in Coeur d’Alene Idaho. I’m the fat guy on the right (haw haw you can’t see me because my layout sucks, and I’m too lazy to resize these pics.), and what you can’t see is that the pointer finger on my right hand is bleeding. It got smashed [...]

I like to start my stories at the start, but in this instance it’s kind of hard to say where the start really is. Taking it to an extreme I guess we’d have to go all the way back to 1989 when I had brain surgery twice in 2 weeks and missed like the first [...]

FINALLY someone I know in real life has a blog! Well, I guess I have a few IRL friends that have blogs or whatever, but I think I met all of them through the net. I mean people that knew me before I knew the innernets! But I digress… Folks, I am proud to present [...]

Hey, look at this! James was in the NY Times today. Remember when I spent a day in Seattle with James (and others) and he (and others) got me drnk? That was awesome! I was planning on flying back to Seattle in 2 weeks, but I’m too broke to go. The funny thing is that [...]

Ya know, I’ve always claimed to be a pretty cool guy, but it’s been a little tough to back that claim up at times. The other day I ran across a bit of proof! Here I am flanked by my boys, Phil hanks on my right and Rod Schutte on my left. Please pay close [...]

This is probably really boring if you don’t know who these guys are.

I slept on my couch last night. (I actually started typing this yesterday, so ?last night? means Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I did, however, sleep on the couch again last night!) I remember watching a few episodes of Criminal Minds that I had burned to DVD,and the next thing I know it’s 7AM. I thought about [...]