I have no idea what is going on, but a camera crew just walked in and they’re filming Andre and Mike right now. Maybe we finally got our own reality TV show!! oh hay I think I’m on camera right now! SWEET, they can film me updating my blog.
I wonder if I have to sign a release like I did for 8th & Ocean and Miami Ink.
Actually, I guess this client is on a reality show. They filmed him walking out the door and then put the camera down. Then the guy came back in and said thanks.
That was fairly random/odd.

Now this is how you start your morning!

Some days I get annoyed by the emails people send me. Especially when they say things like “It is still wrong – pls correct” and then I’m like O RLY??? I don’t know if people think I can read minds or what. How about telling me what exactly needs to be corrected??
I also love it when I email proofs to people and they reply with “perfect” or “LOOKS GOOD!!!” and then I’m like… Ok, does “LOOKS GOOD!!!” mean to print it or does it mean it just looks good? Those emails usually just sit in my inbox until the person calls up all pissed off because their order hasn’t been printed/shipped yet. That’s how I roll.
The other day I received the most awesome email ever! Here’s what it said…
Just giving you guys a heads up?.please let me know immediately if you receive a card order request
from [NAME REDACTED]. Do not print anything with an [NAME REDACTED] logo or format
for her without going through us. She refuses to shoot decent material and we are not producing any more
cards for her with our logo using images from 1980!

That agency is A+!

This morning I received the below image in an email along with the instructions of “can you clean up the crotch area?”
Some days I really enjoy my job!

…and that makes you larger than life!

I had a lot of fun Saturday night. I don’t read the blogs of most of the people that were there, (mainly because they write novels for posts and my attention span isn’t nearly that big!) but I was for sure aware of all of them.
My favorite part of the night was J-Lo’s little sister that we had as a waitress at Tobacco Road. I WOULD!!! I was especially in love when she brought me a beer that I didn’t even order. It turned out that NicFitKid had ordered it and I felt kind of bad for bogarting it.
I guess that’s about all I have to say about that. Oh yeah… I kind of wish there had been more hot single girls there. I had to ride home with 2 dudes. Maybe next time.

Also, both the Seattle Seahawks and the Miami Dolphins lost this weekend. About the only thing that could have been worse is if the Cougars, Huskies and Hurricanes also lost. I think I have to wait about a month for that to happen.

Don’t call us… We’ll call you!

I guess I didn’t win. =(

Yearbook Post!

In light of the upcoming blogger get-together I felt that a yearbook post was in order. That means that if you’re reading this (even if we’re not hanging out this weekend) then you should leave a comment containing a picture of yourself. And if you don’t have a picture of yourself on the net, you can email it to me at HeyChristianLookAtMyPicture @ fanless.com and I’ll add it to this post. Also, just leaving a link /the URL to your picture is cool too.
Here’s my picture!
I linked to the most recent picture of me online.

worst day of my life; what do you think?

Do you know what “teh suXs” is? teh suXs is when you’re really busy at work so you don’t have time to take a lunch break and then after your extended work day you arrive at home totally famished and exhausted only to find a really old bottle of mustard in your fridge and nothing else to eat so you take your last $5 ($1 of it in quarters left over from your last laundry day) across the street to the pizza place and buy a slice for $4.50 and feel really lame tipping the zOMGz SO HAWT pizza girl a whopping 50 cents and then you step outside (where it’s raining really hard!) and start to head back home, when a tour bus buzzes by you, leaving a draft of destruction that knocks the paper plate holding your slice out of your hands and onto Collins Ave so you sulk the rest of the way home and find a really really old bag of microwave popcorn in the way back of your cupboard and eat that for dinner.

Maybe it’s Mickey!

Andrejko caught a mouse in the office today! It’s pretty much the smallest mouse I have ever seen. On the farm we would see all kinds of field mice but they were always a lot bigger than this one. Maybe it was just a baby or something. The feally funny thing was that Mike was seriously afraid of it. Andrejko chased him all over with it and Mike kept running away. What a pussy!

What are you even thinking??

A fair percentage of our cliental at work consists of zOMG SO HAWT models. Today one such client was at the front counter. Some jackass guy walking down Washington saw her, called the number on our sign, and asked to speak to “the girl in the green shirt and white pants”. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking drnk?? What a dickfur! If you want to talk to some chick, TALK TO HER! Don’t bother/involve us with your macking game! It was kind of awesome because the girl didn’t want anything to do with the guy.
We seriously need our own reality tv show.
On another work related note… Gustavo and Blanca (nobody ever calls her by her name… They always call her “Bianca” or “Maria”. I have no idea why, and she never has the heart to correct them.) are in Guatemala so Andrejko has been filling in. The first day they were gone Andrejko and I both showed up wearing old Lazerland shirts. It was kind of funny. It’s kind of like the boss at Pizza Hut going on vacation, so people show up wearing Rustica shirts.

a 2nd plane has crashed into my internet zOMG!!!

Dear Innernets,
Can someone please translate (at least loosely) these comments for me? I don’t want terrorists flying airplanes into my blog!
Love, Christian.

Dear people leaving comments with funny writing,
I was just kidding about the terrorist bit. Plz 2b not coming to South Beach to seek revenge on me! ALLAH AKBAR!!

The Miami Blogosphere Gathers

Can someone please clue me in as to what in the Tori Anus(.com!) this is all about? (I hope that’s not some s00per sekrit URL that is meant only for me and other members of the elite!)
It sounds like an event that I would be required/expected to wear more than cargo shorts and a t-shirt to. And I probably wouldn’t know anyone there and nobody would know me so I would probably just hang out in the corner, silently judging people while glaring and projecting thoughts of “DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE ME!! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME!!!!!zOMG!!” or something.
And since it’s on the beach and like 1 block away I can’t really use my excuse of “I don’t have a car/ride. Sorry!” to get out of it.
I will only show up if Amy promises to go and if I am allowed to wear my Etnies.

Speaking of Etnies… Two of my pictures are on Etnies’ site as part of a photo contest. I hope I win!! I could really use some new kicks.


I am hoping the Chris doesn’t come to town this weekend and knock out my satellite, causing me to miss any of the X Games!
On the other hand, I kind of hope Chris kicks some ass. You know, because Chris is such an awesome name!
I think I am now 25 days short of 1 year from when I became awesome and had my picture on CNN which started a deluge of emails saying “Someone with your name has a picture on CNN.comm zoMG!!”
I’d like to have that happen again this year, but not at the expense of having my power/innernets/TV/phone not working.
Speaking of innernets… When is the free Wi-Fi for Miami Beach going to start working?? I am checking every day and never finding anything.