a work in progress. July 11, 2006

It’s been several months since I’ve done this, but just in case you were wondering, as of today, NoFuckinAround.com will create a 2987 page/211 MB .PDF file when converted using ljbook.com.
Talk about an epic novel about the stupidist shit you can think of. And hey, it only took me just under 6 years to type it all out.
I’d put the pdf on the innernets, but I included the private entries too. Maybe the next time I’m bored and lazy I’ll create a public version.
Oh, also… There are now 1462 F-bombs in the file, as opposed to 1265 9 months ago. What the fuck do you fucking expect from the fucking guy that fucking owns fuckyouyafuckinfuckfuck.com??

Lincoln Road Apple Store and some digression about my friends.

According to this post, the Lincoln Road Apple Store is opening on Saturday. I won’t be one of the first 1000 customers that gets a free t-shirt… I’ll be riding at Markham. I’m an idiot for making plans for Saturday on Monday! And the whole thing got started because I accidentally called Carl instead of Chad, and when Carl answered I was like… “Oh, uh… Hey, do you wanna go riding on Saturday??” instead of admitting my mistake. And then I called Raul and Brandon and told them that IT’S ON!! so I can’t back out now. Especially not to visit an Apple store opening.
Speaking of Chad… I think he must be mad at me, but I have no idea why. I’ve left him like 6 messages to call me since Mother’s day, and he finally answered yesterday, but straight away he was like “Can I call you back?” and I was like sure. I’m still waiting for him to call me back! All I wanted to do was tell him that I got the beta of Gran Turismo 4 Online for PS2, and he can have it because my memory card is in West Palm so I can’t even really play it.
I called Kim last night to see if Chad is mad at me or what, and when she answered straight away she was like “Can I call you back?” and I was like sure. I’m still waiting for her to call me back!
I need new friends!
But anyways… Back to the Apple Store…

Have you seen the front of the new store?? I was wondering why they had all that scaffolding and stuff up there. I guess it looks ok. I’m kind of undecided.

IsCastroDead.com

Hello, does anyone own the copyright to an image of Castro that I could use on my awesome new website, IsCastroDead.com??? (currently just forwarding to FANLESS.com because I am lazy.)
Actually, I would like to have 2 pics… One where he looks healthy and one where he looks dead.
PLZ ADVISE!
Here’s what I’m thinking… A simple web page that displays a picture of Fidel Castro… If he’s still alive, then the healthy pic shows up… If he’s dead, then you get the dead pic. Along with that, I’d like to have a Firefox extention much like the Terri Schiavo Status extension. I’d also want to have a Dashboard widget for Mac OS X and a widget for the Yahoo! Widget Engine.
Sounds reasonable, right? I wish I was smrt enough/not so lazy to actually pull it off.
Oh, I almost forgot… GOOGLE ADS so I can get rich and even more famous and retire on South Beach at the ripe old age of 32.
At that rate, I’d hope Castro NEVER dies so people will keep checking in to see if he’s alive.

Early Warning July 10, 2006

**ATTENTION STALKERS**
I have a tentative plan to go riding at Markham Park on Saturday morning. I don’t know when exactly “morning” is, but I wouldn’t expect it to be before 9 AM. Carl says he is going… Raul is going/giving me a ride. I’m trying to get Brandon to go. He keeps saying he’s getting a new bike, but he’s been saying that for many weeks so I don’t know if it is ever going to happen. Raul will probably talk to Jack and maybe he will show up. It would be awesome if Chad went too.

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South Beach World Cup Aftermath - Italy wins and France still sucks! July 9, 2006

Hey guys, I think the Miami Dolphins won the World Series or something!!

Ocean Drive, Miami Beach FL.

Check out Mario Andretti’s Crunk Cup!!

How many Italia fans can you fit into the back of a truck??

Does it get any more Italian than this? (I see this guy like every day and he is very creepy/cracked out/???!)

…oh, actually… Yeah, it does!

Ouch, my ego!! July 8, 2006

*******NEWS FLASH*******
Myspace.com user crazi_wild_lova says: “no wonder ure single .. have u looked in the mirror lately? or your myspace for that matter? u may have friends but ure still a nerd and a freak and a screwup and where was this headed again??oh yeah dumm ass! p.s:ure myspace was on primetime moron!”

OH NOSE!!

MY SECRETS ARE OUT!!1oneOneELEVENTYONE!11!!11
(insert eyeroll here)

Beach Patrol: Miami Beach July 7, 2006

Hey guys, don’t forget that Beach Patrol: Miami Beach premieres on Monday night on Court TV at 8 PM!

It’s a Sledgehammer! July 6, 2006

Andre’s kid, Aaron, is here from Denmark for the summer, and he brought a friend. I think they’re both 10 years old. I loaned them my GT Show and Gary Fisher Lush Rush Cruiser for them to ride while they’re here. The only problem (besides 4 flat tires) was that my cruiser’s rear wheel was severely out of true. Andre took it to Fritz’s today, and they said it had 7 broken spokes! OOOPS!! Is my ass that fat, or do I ride that hard? It’s getting fixed right now.

Introducing my next bike!

It’s a (Volume) Sledgehammer!!

It’s like a regular BMX cruiser, except it has 26″ wheels like on a mountain bike. I am currently saving some money so I can buy one ASAP. I can’t wait to take it off of some sweet jumps.

On a somewhat related note, call me right now to hear my totally awesome answer tone, and then call me again after 8 PM to hear a different one.
I think answer tones are pretty much the best thing ever to happen to cell phones.

Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen…

Ladies Love Cool Christian!

Ladies Love Cool Christian! (and Christian loves Hooters!!)

I had 3 cheerleader coaches in my hotel room, and I have pixel based proof!!

Cheerleaders Love Cool Christian!

You haven’t lived until you’ve been to the cheerleading competition at the Florida State fair in Tampa!

WAKA Founders Cup World Kickball Championship July 5, 2006

Hey guys, don’t forget about the WAKA Founders Cup World Kickball Championship! It’s on July 22nd at Bicentennial Park.
And don’t worry about being all hot and sweaty… It’s gonna be the mostest awesmoest weather that day evAr!1 I PROMISE!! (unless it isn’t.)

July 5th, 2004

This happened 2 years ago today!

I think about it often. I don’t think I’ve been more heated in my life.

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I spent several hours at the meta cafe today!

I LOL’d!!

I think I just fell in love!!

I still want an EVO more!

…and one girl was like “FANLESS loves ME more than you!” and another girl was like “He loves me more because he lets me call him ‘Chris’!” and another girl was like “Nuh-uh!!” and the other one was like “F U!” and then…

…and it didn’t even stop there…

Even when we go to the beach, my hos can’t get along.

LOL WHAT

p0wnt!

Color me impressed!!

Ditto.

Perfect for soccer moms!

I need one of these!!

I saw this on TV and it was amazing!!

Talk about a fluster cluck!

Meanwhile, I can’t even win a game of tic-tac-toe against myself…

no words

Must be karma.

ALIENS EXIST!!

I bet I would get all the hawt chyxXx if I could do this!!

MILF!! DANG!

BUST BIG!!

If the news was like this every day, I’d never miss it!