The FANLESS Homepage!!

I will have sex with you (FEMALES ONLY) if you can explain this joke to me. CAPTION:Bagong dating and balikbayan at sumakay ng taxi papuntang balintawak via EDSA.Habang daan napapansin niya na nagtataasan ang mga building sa Pinas…. BALIKBAYAN: Hey mamang Driver ilan taon bang ginawa ang LRT na iyan? TAXI DRIVER: Mga apat na [...]

I don’t get why people think it is ok to call me “Chris”. I mean, it’s totally ok for old friends and family from Othello to call me that, but not clients that only know me via my email signature of “Christian”. I don’t know why it annoys me so much. It’s kind of funny [...]

zOMG CHANNEL 10 just came in and they’re interviewing Mike right now about his opinion on “Washington AveNEW” and the impact it has had on business!

Me: Hey, what’s going on over there? Person on the sidewalk: Oh, they’re opening up Washington Ave. Me: ORLY?? So, what REALLY is going on at Miami Beach Jail this morning?? oh hay maybe that IS what’sgoing on! I thought that person didn’t know what they were talking about. I mean, all of that for [...]

Three years ago today I woke up in St. Louis, Missouri! Our first stop of the day was Anheuser-Busch! (just fine, and yours?? – I pretty much said that every time someone said Anheuser-Busch. GET IT??) Photo Opportunity! (plz note Brandon’s Stoner Drug shirt!) Kim and Brandon. After our tour of the brewery, we went [...]

We woke up in Sioux City Iowa and someone from the hotel had slipped a piece of paper under the door. It was a printout of our bill for the room, and on the bill was a $40+ charge for a long distance phone call. Before I left Miami I had noted local numbers to [...]

So The Rock Crest Lodge is pretty much the gnarliest place I have ever stayed! We got there late and we were pretty beat. The place just had a creepy feeling to it. We got into our room, and I was like… “This isn’t the Rock Crest… This is the Bates Motel!!” Seriously, it was [...]

There’s no better way to start a day than with a can of Red Bull! Hey, there’s something you don’t see everyday in South Florida! This is Kim and Brandon at Spasm Geyser. I think Kim was trying to make out with me but I was like blegh! Me and Brandon at Old Faithful! We [...]

Three years ago today, we woke up in Coeur d’Alene Idaho. I’m the fat guy on the right (haw haw you can’t see me because my layout sucks, and I’m too lazy to resize these pics.), and what you can’t see is that the pointer finger on my right hand is bleeding. It got smashed [...]

I like to start my stories at the start, but in this instance it’s kind of hard to say where the start really is. Taking it to an extreme I guess we’d have to go all the way back to 1989 when I had brain surgery twice in 2 weeks and missed like the first [...]

I am about to polish off my 4th can of Red Bull this morning. I want to kill 4 more by the end of the day. I hope to explain why I’m drinking 8 cans of Red Bull today in a more detailed post later this evening. I also hope to include something about the [...]

Este poste está en español. No sé español, pero cada uno y su hermano lo está haciendo y deseo estar fresco, así que lo estoy haciendo también. Espero que esto sea una traducción terrible de inglés al español. ¡Eso le haría divertido adicional! OH- Heublick! Ich kann ihn auf Deutsch auch tun! Deutscher ist ein [...]

Everyone I have talked to this morning had a story about yesterday’s storm that started out with “Oh my god, I was…” The really sucky thing is that you don’t even get to say that your whatever was damaged by a hurricane… It was just a rain shower/thunder storm.

I am waiting for a tornado to go down Washington and/or Collins! Shit is super gnarly right now! I mean, it’s like we’re in the middle of a hurricane!! It’s awesome!